Did Someone Say Staff Par-tay?

Hmmm. What can I say about Samoana staff parties? Let’s just say their reputation precedes them! Check out this convo:

 Samoan Teacher: “Hey, Matt. You know what your wearing to the staff party yet?”

 Matt: “Ummmm” (confused look)

 Samoan Teacher: “Well you better were a tiger print thong under your Ia that way when 

      you fall into the ocean you can be a......TIGER SHARK! Whoop whoop!”

 Matt: (dazed and confused)

Staff parties in the US may remain pretty PG, but people here in Am Sam don’t hesitate to get silly with their co-workers! The goal of the night is always good food, inordinate amounts of alcohol, and crazy memories (well, if you can remember them the next morning that is...). After much debate about the locale, Maliu Mai/Taps was the decided upon as the venue! I met up with Matt and Max just in time to grab a straggling bus to the Tafuna area. Fortunately we caught the “SpiderMan” (buses here in Am Sam have some pretty cool names and paint jobs), where good ole Matt was permitted to pop open a Vailima tall boy (the local island brew). For only a buck extra and in the spirit of good times, we even persuaded the Spider Man himself to have door to door service, as he agreed to drive us all the way down the road to Maliu Mai (a good 15 minute walk). Once in the staff party I was greeted with not one but two cups of mysterious “Jungle Juice.” I could tell it was going to be a funky night. After an hour of so of chat and plenty of time for the Samoan staffers to drink up a few glasses of liquid courage, Nevi announced that the games would begin...... all WT volunteers (Matt, Max, Tanne, and I) were expected to be participants in each game! The first? Limbo. Now, this wasn’t your typical game of chest-up, back bending limbo. Due to the size of many Samoans, all you had to do was find a way to get under the broom and to the other side. After a few normal rounds the broom reached a daringly low height....(this is where I ducked out). The girls were rolling, sliding, and scooting their way under! It was a sight to see!... I wish I had a video camera.

Game two? Numbers. This is a common ice breaker game in which everyone dances around, the host calls out a number, and as quickly as possible everyone must organize into groups of that number. Anyone with out a number is out. This sounds like a pretty safe game except for the fact that Matt and Max are referred to as the “Fiances” by many of the younger female staff members. Basically, the game turned into a let’s-maul-the-boys competition. Whenever a number was called out, Matt and Max would stand perfectly still with wide eyes and terrified faces as the women hurtled their bodies towards them and wrapped their arms around their waist....While a devastating experience for the boys, I got a huge laugh. 

The final game was none other than the Jiggle Wiggle contest. Yes, that’s right. The goal was to see who could jiggle and wiggle their junk-in-the-trunk the best. It was a hysterical sight as 300 lb women shook what their mama gave them. The best part... the dancing was all done to woe Max and Matt. Something similar could be aired on the Discovery Channel as the traditional Samoan mating ritual. 

After the lively games, a bit more dancing and chatting was in order. At 10:30 pm (we started at 6pm), Taps opened up for regular night club business. Friends Kate, Thahn, and Rosemary joined around 11. Kate was turning 24 at midnight so it was a great way to begin her birthday. She and I are faithful dance partners (in an effort to avoid the creepy men), and usually burst into tears of laughter at least once a night. Samoan dance floors have a weird custom: between each song everyone rushes off the dance floor, waits for the first 30 seconds of the next song, then rushes back. Why they don’t just wait the 2 seconds in between songs, we may never know..... But anyway, after one particular song, Kate and I got the complement of our lives. As we walked off the dance floor, a woman stopped us and said, “You girls are just the skinniest things. You could get all the dance partners you wanted!” We laughed all the way back to the table...oh how we love Samoan beauty standards! 

The night ended well, and I survived my first Samoana staff party with a few good black mail moments stored away for those that weren’t cautious of the Jungle Juice.